Sunday, August 26, 2007

Just some thoughts.

This morning was so cool. I'm so thankful for our church family, and that God has led us to this place with these people. It was bright spot in my week. A huge highlight! If you want to know more about it, check out Tuck's blog.

Honestly, this has been a long week. I was talking with a friend on Thursday just about how down I've felt lately. Heavy and sad. Irritated. Tired. I'm not sure what the reason is, and I'm slowly walking through it. I think God is doing some amazing things with my heart and life right now, and I'm fighting it for some reason. I think he's getting me ready for His great adventure, and I'm scared. And being scared makes me heavy and sad. Irritated. Tired.

I do have to tell you how grateful I am for some of the women in our church, though. I've cried on a few shoulders this week, and they let me. They listened to me, didn't judge me, and just let me cry. (Or whine. Whatever.) They gave me some wise advice, some wonderful words of comfort, and even made me laugh. You ladies know who you are, and I can't even begin to express my gratitude for you.

But still, it's scary for me. It's scary to open up to people and put your heart out there. Tucker and I have been hurt by church...by the people in them...more than once. It's just so easy to throw up the shields and be safe, to not open up at all. But Tucker (And this is the part where I praise him for being so amazingly amazing...) has never done that. He's been attacked and hurt, and he still goes out and just loves on people. I've seen his hurt, I've seen what it can do to him, and yet he's never let it effect the way he interacts with the people he's been called to minister to. It's pretty cool to watch. If you want to learn about forgiveness, watch Tucker. He understands it, he really gets it. Tucker just absolutely and wholeheartedly loves people. I watched him cry this morning as he baptized friends, and I know how genuine it was. I listened to him talk about it on the ride home, and I watched him tear up again. He just has this ability to love through it all.

That is the love I want to have. That is the love I think God intended for us to have. This strong love, a love that goes beyond human emotion and into action.

I don't know, I feel like He's leading me through this...walk (For lack of a better term. I hate the little "Christian-y" sayings like "walk" and "open doors"...but I still use them all the time! So yeah. Hate's a bit too much there, but I do strongly dislike them. Meh. I still can't think of a better term.). I'm scared of it, but I'm really really excited for it...

And just because you've been so good to read this entire rambley babbley bit of a blog, I'll share with you pictures of my adorable children!



1 comment:

Jenn said...

You are amazing. I'm crazy, not sure why, maybe its an emotional day but I cried when I read your post! Isn't that weird?!

lol